A church for me please

I am excited to go back to school for one reason...I will be able to find a good church and go there for at least 4 months straight. I haven't been plugged into a good church since I got back to the U.S. in August. I've been moving, and searching, and visiting, and through all of it I have really started to get the importance of "not forsaking the assembly of ourselves together" (Heb 10:25). I know that my relationship with Jesus is not dependant upon anyone else that will show up at a church building on the same Sunday I do, but there is just something different, challenging, and exhillarting about gathering with my brothers and sisters and worshiping God together. So at a time when I guess the books say I'm supposed to be tired of the church and runnign away from it, I'm longing for a good church home!

I used to have a very negative view of the church in the U.S. but now that I have actually fully given myself to God and said "Here I am send me...even if that means send me to Illinois and not Africa..." God has begun to help me see some churches that really do have it, and has given me hope. One really cool story from this weekend: There was a man attending a church in St Louis, MO praying about starting a church Kansas City. A dying church in KC calls up the church in St Louis and says we have a building and a few members we would like to give to you. So, the man moves to KC, and is leading a growing church that is reaching out to its surrounding community. God is still doing crazy cool things in the U.S.

From the website of Matthew West

"It’s true. You do have something to say. Your life, every second, every hour, every day, is speaking. Your actions speak. Your words speak. Your decisions speak. Your mistakes speak. Your brokenness speaks. Are you picking up on the point here? Your life here on this earth is more than just mere coincidence. It matters. It speaks. You matter. You have something to say.But here’s the thing, the world will go out of its way to make us feel insignificant, like our lives, and our voices don’t matter. Past mistakes make us feel disqualified, present circumstances and problems leave us discouraged. An uncertain future leaves us feeling disabled. The world does its best to quiet the voice of our lives, so that we will keep quiet and the world won’t hear what we have to say...God loves you. He has something to say to you, and through you. "

Top 4

My top four things I'm thankful for this season:
#1 Friends and cousins that I'm so close to everytime I see them it's like we were never apart, we just pick up where we left off...even if it's been since March!

#2 The change I can see in my bro's relationship with his wife (way less fighting!), and the change in my Mom's attitude toward me (she actually apologized for some rude stuff)! God has gotten my family into some great churches and He is at work!

#3The Aviles fam who are all great enough to just let me be me, to chill at their house and to take care of their babies.

#4 Of course I couldn't leave out how amazingly thankful I am for how God is working in me; awakening my longing for more of him and letting me fall more and more in love with Jesus everyday.

Life

"If we're really honest with ourselves most of the time our plans don't work out as we hoped. So, instead of asking our young people, 'what are your plans, what do you plan to do with your life?' Maybe we should tell them this: 'Plan to be suprised!'" -Dan Burns, Dan In Real Life

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." Ecclesiastes 12:13

I love/hate Conferences

I've decided that I can't go to any more conferences until I graduate college. They just make me so frustrated. I think I have a love/hate relationship with them. For instance this past weekend I got to go to the National Missionary Convention, I LOVED getting to walk through hundreds of booths and talk with missionaries working all over the world. I was overwhelmed by the realization that God is alive and moving and I could walk up to any of the missionaries and hear stories of what God is up to. And the morning and evening worship sessions were amazing. Its just so easy to get lost in the music and moment of worship when I'm surrounded by thousands of people. The workshops durring the day were awesome too. I got to learn about how to start from the very beginning and create a missions plan for a church. And I got to learn about ways to get the church involved in tackling AIDS, sex trafficing and poverty. I also had a really good reminder about the importance of fasting and journaling at a workshop about growing your passion for God. But then the conference is over, I'm pumped up, full of ideas and wanting to make a difference and all I get to do is go back and sit in a classroom for 3 more semesters. One of the speakers said, "You will be much more efficient if you sharpen your ax before you start chopping wood." I guess that's my period of life right now, but I'm soooo ready to start chopping some trees.

I really wonder what God is up to. I got offered a possition working in Krokow, Poland leading a youth ministry, and a book club, and running a coffee shop. It'd be pretty sweet, but God didn't say go... This past weekend was a good time of God reminding me that he knows the plans he has for me and I've just got to trust that. I'll know what they are when I need to. I'm starting to think whats next might have something to do with inner-city ministry. I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see.

CCH

After being away from my friends in Springfield for a month and half I got to spend 3 days with them at a Missions Convention. God really opened my eyes to see how much I had been taking them for granted. It always blows my mind to see the kind of relationships that can form between people that have the bond of the Holy Spirit. Christian Campus House turned out to be my home of brothers who will drive ya crazy at times, but will always treat you well and make you laugh, and sisters you can always count on for a prayer or some good late night chats. So to AJ, Alex, Weston, TJ, Tyger, Eric, Chuck, Nate, Matty, Brad, Blake, Shane, Lindsey, Risa, Lauren, Molly, Beth, Emily, Kate, Sarah, Lynn, Jess, Melynn, Katie, Lisa, Megan, Courtney and the rest of my CCH fam... I LOVE YOU!

December's Coming

I am very thankful November is almost over! My month without reading christian books has proven to be beneficial to my relationship with Jesus, but I'm ready to be challenged again by some great authors. My time with Tolkien and Dickens didn't last long, I probably read 100 pages total and then just got bored. If I'm just going to spend time being entertained I'd rather just watch some tv or a movie.

Soundtrack

Psalm 119:54

"Your principles have been the music of my life..."

I LOVE music. I love getting lost in the music of a grand symphony trying to pick out all the seperate sections or just listen to one intrument. I love running to some good ol' 90's ska, or skateboarding to some hard rock. And I LOVE being in huge groups of people all singing the same songs to worship God together. In a movie soundtrack there are perfect songs for certain scenes, they just go together. Just like a movie my life seems to have a soundtrack too. As I was reading through Psalm 119 yesterday, verse 54 really stuck out at me. The author was saying that God's principles and his life "just go" together, its the perfect fit. I really want God's word to be that intertwined with my life, I want it to "just go." If God's principles would bring me to life like music does things would be amazing.

The Hills Are Alive

One of my favorite musicals has always been The Sound of Music.  And this weekend I got to see it live for the second time.  The best scene of the whole masterpiece is when Maria (the postulant aka "nun in training") has realized that she is in love with the man she is supposed to be working for and she runs back to the Abbey...it goes a little something like this:  

Maria: I left...I was frightened...I was confused, I felt, I've never felt that way before. I couldn't stay. I knew that here I'd be away from it. I'd be safe...I can't face him again...Oh, there were times when we would look at each other. Oh Mother, I could hardly breathe...That's what's been torturing me. I was there on God's errand. To have asked for his love would have been wrong. I couldn't stay, I just couldn't. I'm ready at this moment to take my vows. Please help me.

Reverend Mother: Maria, the love of a man and a woman is holy too. You have a great capacity to love. What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love.

Maria: But I pledged my life to God. I pledged my life to his service.

Reverend Mother: My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less. No, you must find out and you must go back.

Maria: Oh, Mother, you can't ask me to do that. Please let me stay, I beg of you.

Reverend Mother: Maria, these walls were not built to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live.

 These nuns had it.  I used to feel just like Maria, I was scared and hiding in the walls of religion.  But, God is teaching me to face all that life has to throw at me, and that love is always holy.  I think its going to be my life mission to find out how God wants me to spend my love and then to spend it.  I've got to live the life I was born to live.

'Tis the Season To Be Thankful

   I'm so thankful that last week when I was missing all my random friends a lot God provided a weekend for me to go visit some of them in Chillicothe.  I had a great time just hangin' out.  We were techie nerds at McD's for a while, and I got to watch one of my favorite musicals, then we ate some late night grub at good ol' Country Kitchen and annoyed the old people.  And on Sunday I got to go to church with some great guys and do communion (which I've missed a lot because I got used to doing it every week in Springfield!) and then I learned to play pitch.  Well, I kinda learned to play pitch, I'm pretty sure we lost 42-0 and my partner hated me afterward...but I'll practice.  It was fun chillin' for a couple days.  God always provides just what I need at just the right time:)  

***Let it Snow***

November 15th was the first snow of the season!!!

I LOVE SNOW!  I can't wait to build a snowman!!!

Bring on the cold!

Church Church Church

This past Sunday I attended Shoal Creek Community Church. It was the first church I have ever attended that I would feel comfortable bringing an "un-churched" person to. They have totally made the service seeker friendly. There is no group singing, no passing the offering plate, no raising your hand if its your first time, and a lot of normal everyday things like songs you'd hear on the radio and videos. The atmosphere was much like a coffee shop I attended a concert at in Columbia, MO. In the main room there was a free coffee bar with cookies and such, tables were set up all along the back and sides of the room, and then there were chairs set up in the middle. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. I kind of feel like it was just a show that was put on for me to take in. But I could tell that nobody leading it was doing it for their own glory. There wasn't really a part of the service that pulled me in and required me to participate. But is that wrong, or bad? There were several mentions of getting connected with a "group" so I could tell that they do want people to go beyond what they experience on Sundays. Is this what "the church" of 2008 needs? In order to reach our neighbors do we need to make Sundays the time for others to come in and not feel awkward, and then have other things throughout the week for those who want to be challenged and grow in their faith. Its pretty much the exact opposite of what any other church I have ever attended has done. This past sunday, scripture was taught, we were challenged to let it impact the way we live. That was good. Maybe Shoal Creek isn't doing everything right, maybe they are, but I think the important thing is that they trying.

Into My Culture

I'm pretty sure my mind is still programmed to be believe that if I am investing time in "secular" things then I am pulling away from God. I've gone 10 days now without reading "church books," instead I've picked up some Dickens and Tolken. As I was spending time processing things today I realized I felt a little disconected. I told God this and his response was "Why? I've been right here."

There are no secular and christian areas of life, God is "over all and in all..."(Eph 4:6) My job is to stay mentally and spiritualy connected to Him always. I have got to retrain my mind to stop flipping a switch on and off when ever it assumes "God is in this, oh but God is not in this, Oh yes, God is in this again." I guess its more than just staying connected to God in all situations, I could hold hands with someone and be connected, but still be 5 feet away. Its about remaining IN Him (John 15:4-7). When I am finally IN Him wherever I go/whatever I do the Holy Spirit will go before me, every action will reflect Jesus' character, and God will increase as I decrease. He is always there...am I going to be in Him?

Olives, Daisies and a Shower

 I was watching an episode of Pushing Daisies online yesterday and one of the main characters (Olive Snook) decided to become a nun.  As I watched her running around the abbey I was reminded of all the "Saints" who have left behind prayers that have been kept around for hundreds of years.  They are like little encounters with God that they left for us...I need those prayers right now as I am striving to revitalize my prayer life...As I was watching a second episode of Pushing Daisies this morning I was interrupted by a text message reminding me of God's grace.  It was a reminder of the present day encounters there are to be had with God...I need those texts right now as I am striving to revitalize my relationship with Jesus...As I was watching "Fireproof" tonight there were lyrics to songs that would just leap out at me as if they were shouting "HEY! Look over hear, you gotta get this!"...I need those songs right now as I am striving to listen to Jesus.

God is so patient with me its ridiculous!  If I wrote a song I think it'd be "your patience is extravagant." God spent over a year and a half teaching me about love, and I haven't even fully learned all I need to yet.  But now I think He's moving on to teaching me about my need for others and how the "body of Christ" is really supposed to be one.  I have a lot more questions than answers right now and through this time God has been showing me the supports I've needed.  When I didn't know what to pray He gave me prayers.  When I didn't know how to encounter Christ, He gave me thoughts to remind me of His character.  When I didn't know how to listen, He sent me melodies.  And all these are coming straight through another human that I need.   Its not that I NEED anyone else for life, but I NEED others to complete the flow of Christ coming to me.  Its like a shower head...have you ever had one that is super old and covered in gunk and the water is just spraying all over the place?  It isn't very effective, but when the plumber comes and cleans it out all the little streams of water come together and start spraying forward drenching the person.  A friend reminded me today that God speaks through us all.  So if my relationship with any person is not correctly aligned I can miss the encounter with Christ completely. 

Thanks to those who have gone before and have left remnants for those of us still learning to run.  Thanks to all the artists who have dedicated their lives to expressing the creativity of their savior through song.  Thanks most of all to my closest friends who are sharing with me daily, reminding me of Christ.

God's perfect Timing

I think I left MSU at just the right time.  God really does know what he's doing, even though most of the time I have no clue what He's up to, sometimes he gives me a little glimpse.  In "Tossed by The Wind" Jimmy Needham sings about a boy who went off to college with a "curse for his thirst for the wisdom of men."  I think I was coming dangerously close to crossing that line of thirst for the wisdom of men.  Not that its bad to be well educated, but it is bad when I turn my focus from the God of the universe to the study of  african religions, Buddhism, and Islam.  I've actually caught myself a couple times thinking "well, that sounds really good and helpful, I could incorporate that into my 'religion'" which is totally not what God wants for us.  As I was sitting in Barnes and Noble today I had the chance to read some buddhist lit or some Zen stuff, it was really tempting, but I just felt like I'd be pouring poison into the "pure spiritual milk" I've been trying to feed on.  I think I have been walking dangerously close to the line of adultery.  I know its ridiculous but I feel like if I read the "Tao of Pooh" today it would have been as dangerous to my relationship with God as cheating on my husband would be.

I'm fascinated by other religions and cultures.  Why am I so easily caught up in things and pulled to the extremes?  Anything that's unknown makes me want to explore, anything that's a challenge makes me want it more.  Going SBU next semester is going to be really nice, I don't have to keep any guards up and I can freely dive head first into everything I'm studying cause it won't be a search for the wisdom of men, but the wisdom of God everyday.

LeTtErS

26 little letters have brought about all these words, all these thoughts, and all these books.  26 tiny worthless things... unless they are used.  Not just used, but used for the one purpose they were created for.  Sure a letter could be used on its own but "a" and "I" are words of small consequence.  When they are combined with other letters words like redeemed, forgiven, and love can be formed, words that can change the world.

As I sit and look at rows and rows of books I'm overwhelmed by the thought that maybe someday God will partner little insignificant me with other "letters" to form words and stories that will grow and work together to change the world.  The possibilities are endless as long as I am being used for the purpose I was created.  

Hebrews 5:4-10

"And no one can become a high priest simply because he wants such an honor. He must be called by God for this work, just as Aaron was. That is why Christ did not honor himself by assuming he could become High Priest. No, he was chosen by God, who said to him,

   “You are my Son.
      Today I have become your Father.”

 And in another passage God said to him,

   “You are a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek.”

 While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God.  Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.  In this way, God qualified him as a perfect High Priest, and he became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey him. And God designated him to be a High Priest in the order of Melchizedek."

Jesus' first calling in life was to be God's son.  He knew that was his calling and he accepted it.  Jesus wasn't prideful or caught up in trying to impress others so he didn't honor himself by assuming the role of High Priest.  But then, after Jesus learned and lived obedience, and he showed deep reverence for God, God qualified him as a perfect High Priest. 

Just like Jesus I've got to be satisfied with being called God's child, if that's his calling on my life then I don't need to be trying to attain anything beyond that.  Perhaps after I have learned obedience and my prayer life reflects reverence for God I will be called for "bigger things," but if being called a child of God was enough for Jesus, then that call will be good enough for me today too.