The Fray

So... apparently God is all over the top 10.  Could someone explain the first two stanzas of The Fray's You Found Me for me please? 

Live Your Life

The song of the morning- T.I. and Rihanna's Live Your Life.  I was a little stunned by the intro:

Everybody right here

What you need to do is be 

thankful for the life you got.

You know what I'm sayin?

Stop lookin' at what you don't got 

and be thankful for 

what you do got. 

He then goes on to say we've got to ignore the haters, and love 'em in a crazy way even when they're trying to bring us down, so he prays for patience to deal with him.  And he says it seems like they've lost track of what's important cause they're distracted by money and living unhappily 'cuase they are making bad moral decisions.  There really is some stuff outside of this "christian culture" God is speaking through. I was shocked...good job T.I.

    And while we're on the subject of top ten songs, how about that jump from 97 to #1 for Kelly?!  I love the simplicity of the song, my life would suck without you... none of that poetic mushiness that doesn't even make sense half the time.

My Utmost...

Get into the habit of saying, "Speak, Lord," and life will become a romance (1 Samuel 3:9). Every time circumstances press in on you, say, "Speak, Lord," and make time to listen. Chastening is more than a means of discipline— it is meant to bring me to the point of saying, "Speak, Lord." Think back to a time when God spoke to you. Do you remember what He said? Was it Luke 11:13 , or was it 1 Thessalonians 5:23? As we listen, our ears become more sensitive, and like Jesus, we will hear God all the time.

Congrats Piper!

   I am soooo excited!  I just got to talk to the most awesome female youth pastor I ever had, and she is getting married and moving to Southeast Asia to be a missionary!  It makes me happy to know she's going to be having an awesome adventure of a life.  This girl, her name is Piper by the way, and I had a really cool relationship, she was number 4 on the list of 6 youth pastors I had in 7 years.  She was a Jewell student and would let me come up and hang out with her, and she was pretty much my counselor as I was going through my "I hate my life" jr high days.  She has wisdom way beyond her years and I can't wait to hear how God uses her in Asia!

Oh, Jason...

In my quest to know my culture I was watching youtube videos of the current top 10 songs.  I am now a huge fan of Jason Mraz all because at his concert he had a lawn gnome holding up a rock fist, it was awesome!  And, his djembe player was makin it dance.  "I'm yours" isn't that bad either.

Underdog

  Somedays I look back over the past 4 years and think, "wow, I can't believe God's brought me this far!"  Somedays I look at my life and think, "wow, I can't believe I'd still do that after 4 years!"  I'm really kinda disappointed in myself, I realized I've become spiritually weak since High School.  I've chosen to surround myself with Christians pretty much 24/7 and then one simple little choice comes along and I ignore the scripture being whispered in my ear.  Its like lifting weights, after a while you get used to the amount of weight your lifting and all you have to do to maintain that level of strength is to keep lifting the same amount of weight.  But, if your muscles are going to keep growing you've got to add on more weight and challenge yourself to grow.  I've been stuck with the same amount of weight for too long, I can stand up to a certain amount of challenge, but throw on an extra 5 pounder and I wimp out.  I've got to grow stronger.

  One thing God has been trying to teach me is that I'm not going to come to a point of being prepared, or feeling ready before he's going to use me.  This life is a journey of growth all the way up until the day I die, and I'm going to have to rely on Christ and step out and take action even when I don't think I can handle it yet.

SBU

SBU has Macs in their lab now! I love it! And they have a tv in the floor at the book store (don't really know if that is necessary). And, they remodeled the building that all my classes for my major are in! Its a sign of growth, and life, I like it. Change is good.
In chapel yesterday there was a student who had his kid with him. I'd guess he was about one, you could tell he hadn't been walking long...I almost went over to play with him, but I figured I should probably focus. He made me smile, it was a little gift from God 'cause he knows I miss Jake and Eli :)

Day 1

  Its funny, the longer I'm here the more I start to remember about SBU.  Like I totally forgot about chapel.  I'm going from just going to church on sundays to having sunday and wednesday plus 2 chapel services and probably a small group too.  And the atmosphere is way different here, like people just say "hey" to whoever they pass on the sidewalk, unlike MSU where they purposefully look away.  I'm really glad I got to do a practice exegesis paper at MSU because I get to write another long one here and its a lot less scary now.  I think my Hermeneutics class is going to be really good!  

  I had my first dose of what my triathlon is going to be like today.  I went swimming right after I biked, it was weird.  And I got tons of cramps cause I'm way dehydrated!  But our really nice fitness center makes it even more fun than normal to work out, and I'll save lots of money by always showering over there.  I'm gettin' pumped for this semester! I have a feeling its going to go really quickly.  

  Well, I guess I should get started on my homework...

Let me be full of Him

The Treasure of Jesus- SCC

What can I do
How can I live
To show my world
The treasure of Jesus

What will it take
What could I give
So they can know
The treasure He is

If I can sing 
Let my songs be full of His Glory
If I can speak 
Let my words be full of His Grace
If I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The Treasure of Jesus

This song really captures how I feel right now...I really want these next three semesters to be a time where sharing Christ with others daily becomes natural to me.  Right now I don't know what God wants me to do, or give, or what its going to take from me for others to know, but in the end I want to be found as one who was constantly pursuing Christ.  I've known for a while now that Church is supposed to be about bringing others to know Jesus, but something new clicked last night as I was listening to Bill Hybles speak.  Everything they do on a sunday is based on reaching new people, EVERYTHING, from the kids time, to the songs they sing or don't sing.  I want to live a life that focused.

Next up...

Its kind of funny to me that as I'm going to SBU as a senior I have no clue what direction my life is going in. When I went as a freshman I knew God was calling me to missions and that is what my life revolved around for almost 4 years. After my internship in Jamaica this summer I felt this peace and sense of completion with my call to over seas missions. For the past almost 6 months now my passion for ministry within the U.S. has been growing, but honestly it scares me way more than eating snails, living in a tent in the third world, or flying off alone for the summer ever did. I feel like Moses (doubtful, unqualified, scared), but I want to respond like Isaiah (Here am I, send me!).

I live in fear entirely too often. One of the first verses I was encouraged to memorize as a my relationship with Jesus was just starting to grow is 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." Ever since I've known the verse its been powerfully encouraging to know that God has not made me to be fearful and timid, but it has also been discouraging because when I look at my life I see little love, little power and zero self-discipline. It says God has given these things to me so where are they??? I guess there is a choice that I have to make to let that spirit come alive in me... but I haven't quite figured it out yet.

I'm leaving another random chunk of my life behind this weekend, and stepping into a time of learning that will end up in a place God has yet to show me. So with confidence that God knows what he has planned for my life I step out once again into a time of "just being." I'll serve where I see opportunities and try to listen for his voice calling. The adventure of never knowing what's around the next corner begins.

Colorado, Kansas, Missouri

I'm on my way home!!!
As we were driving down the miles and miles of desert highway my friend asked me if I had a home, I had to think about it for a sec.
I'm glad to be headed to Kearney!

I'm leaving on a road trip friday morning with 3 friends!  Pretty sure its going to be amazing because we are going to see the Grand Canyon!  We're going as cheaply as possible which will include lots of camping in below freezing weather!  Well, thats what 2 of the 4 of us think...that might turn into staying in hostels and junky hotels, guess we'll find out.  I'm honestly looking forward to the long ride in the Escape, I love having 4 little bros around to play with, but I just need sometime to think.  We are making our way through Colorado as we head southwest... the last time I was there I barfed up a lot of orange dramamine, hopefully this time the beautiful snowy landscape will distract my attention from the hilly, curvy roads!  Speaking of snow I really want to go skiing someday!!!  I'm kind of afraid of it, but that just makes me want to do it even more.  Be watching twitter for updates: www.twitter.com/crystalcoakley 

The friends

  I have been blessed with the greatest friends ever.  I know that I'm just part of the fam at the Aviles, Schlick, or Dingus homes (what a bunch of names!), and even though I only get to see my cousins about 3 times a year I know they are always going to be right by my side whenever I need them.  God is always good to bless me abundantly!  There are areas of my life/relationships that aren't the greatest and I could focus on those and let them get me down, but choosing not too has been a huge help in uplifting my spirit!  

  I've been reading the book of Proverbs over the past few days and there were quite a few verses that stuck out to me about the importance of who you surround yourself with.  I know all these people have made huge positive impacts on my life, and I would have never found them without God bringing our paths to cross.  What an awesome orchestrator we serve!

08 -> 09

2008 consisted of :

- one semester of classes at Missouri State 

- a campus ministry internship

- an international youth ministry internship

- 3 months of working on a farm/being a nanny, and living with some friends

It was one crazy year.  As I'm trying to get prepared to go back to school at SBU I get excited just wondering what God has in store.  After each semester of school I pray for God's clear guidance as to wether or not I should return for another.  In January I'll be in Bolivar, only God knows what August will bring.  Ever since one of my youth pastors asked "are you just going to college because that's what you're 'supposed' to do?"  I've been careful to make sure that I really am following God's plan for my life and not just going with the flow.  I get to do another summer internship in '09.  I'm kind of excited because my advisor said that he could work with me to get an inner-city job, but I'm also just kind of tired to of 3 month internships.  Just as soon as I start to get to know the students and how to best minister to them it's time to leave.  I know it will be an awesome time to learn though.  Yay for 2009! Let the adventure begin!  

Just one moment of peace, please

AHHH! I haven't stopped running around for the past two weeks. I've been to Branson, St Louis, Liberty, and Kansas twice, and now I'm helping my parents move.  My head might explode!