Today's Prayer

O Jesus, I Have Promised by John E. Bode

O Jesus, I have promised to serve Thee to the end;
Be Thou forever near me, my Master and my Friend;
I shall not fear the battle if Thou art by my side,
Nor wander from the pathway if Thou wilt be my Guide.

O let me feel Thee near me! The world is ever near;
I see the sights that dazzle, the tempting sounds I hear;
My foes are ever near me, around me and within;
But Jesus, draw Thou nearer, and shield my soul from sin.

O let me hear Thee speaking in accents clear and still,
Above the storms of passion, the murmurs of self will.
O speak to reassure me, to hasten or control;
O speak, and make me listen, Thou Guardian of my soul.

O Jesus, Thou hast promised to all who follow Thee
That where Thou art in glory there shall Thy servant be.
And Jesus, I have promised to serve Thee to the end;
O give me grace to follow, my Master and my Friend.

O let me see Thy footprints, and in them plant mine own;
My hope to follow duly is in Thy strength alone.
O guide me, call me, draw me, uphold me to the end;
And then in Heaven receive me, my Savior and my Friend.

I'd Rather Have Jesus

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands,
I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand.

Than to be a king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway,
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name.

He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom;
He’s sweeter than honey from out of the comb;
He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,
I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead.

Quote of the Day

"We've been doing sprints at 8, 9, & 10 when we could have been doing them at 12! Think about it, how many other things in life are we doing half ass?!" - Jillian Michaels

Forgotten God by Francis Chan

"I wanted God to see that I could be a good servant...But God didn't want a good slave who tried really hard. He wanted me to see that He was a good father. He wants intimacy."

"The way of the Spirit is not a gentle downhill grade. Often, walking with the spirit is an uphill trudge through all sorts of distractions and difficulties."

"His purposes are not random or arbitrary. If you are still alive on this planet, it's because He has something for you to do."

"It's absolutely vital to grasp that he didn't call you here so you could settle in and live out your life in comfort and superficial peace."

"If everyone gave and served and prayed exactly like you, would the church be healthy and empowered? Or would it be weak and listless?"

"I am tired of living in a way that looks exactly like people who do not have the Holy Spirit of God living in them...I want to be different today from what I was yesterday as the fruit of the Spirit becomes more manifest in me."

Catholic

I think about becoming a catholic quite often. I'd be really good at it, I'd learn all the prayers, say them a billion times, go to mass every day, light the candles, say confession, become a nun. I love the tradition, the beauty, and the reverence of it all. (There's just that whole theology thing that I don't agree with.)

Although I will never become a catholic I do try to incorporate their practice of confession into my life. When I hide the truth about myself I feel like its eating away at me. But when I confess I feel freedom. I also feel more urgency to change my behavior when my friends know the true ugliness about me.

Growing up in Christian Union and Baptist churches I never heard much about confession. It was something you did to become a christian, or once a quarter when you had communion. But I love having confession as a regular part of my life now, its so great being 100% open and honest before God.

"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Prov 28:13

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Obsessed?

People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him. (1 John 2:4-6, Matt 16:24-26)

Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. (Luke 14:25-35, Matt 7:13-23, 8:18-22, Rev 3:1-6)

Obsessed people know that you can never be "humble enough," and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known. (Matt 5:16)

People who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. (Matt 13:44, John 15:8)

Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world. (James 2:14-26)

A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently.

People who are obsessed with God have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week.

For more check out chapter 8 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan

1 Timothy 6:6-12

THIS IS WHAT I WANT!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:6-12

Over half of the world lives on $2 a day. I am rich compared to the world, and yet I let money pull me away from my faith and pierce me with "many griefs." Stupid.

Moses

One day Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Take these people up to the Promised Land.’ But you haven’t told me whom you will send with me. You have told me, ‘I know you by name, and I look favorably on you.’ If it is true that you look favorably on me, let me know your ways so I may understand you more fully and continue to enjoy your favor. And remember that this nation is your very own people.”

The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.” Exodus 33:12-14

I can totally relate with Moses in this passage! He's going on a journey with God and he starts thinking, "wait a minute, I have no clue what's going on here! How is this going to work?" So he goes to God and says "Hey God, if what you are saying is true then let me know what you're up to so I can understand it and find joy on this crazy journey." God does not reply with anything to help Moses understand, he just says "Moses I'm going to be with you, everything will be fine."

On my own crazy journey with God I've asked for understanding so many times. As a kid, rather than making up things to play I would pretend I had an orphanage and plan, organize, and make budgets. I love having understanding of how things could work. But just like Moses, God has never granted me understanding when I've asked for a glimpse of what he is up to. And then, I start to lose my joy.

I need to learn a thing or two from Moses. God, the creator of the universe, tells me I don't need to understand, I just need to know that he's there with me. I HAVE to learn to let that be enough. Moses got it, as the story continues he says, "ok God, just promise you'll be with me! And let me see more of you!" Instead of losing my joy and freaking out that I don't understand I've just got to throw myself at God and say, "you're all I've got, give me more of you!" As Beth Moore puts it "the healthy child of desperation is devotion." In my time of desperation rather than obsessing about what I don't know my devotion to God has got to grow.

Even though I don't understand what's going on in my life right now I've got to believe Psalm 33:4 and 11 "For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does...The Lord’s plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." God knows what's up, I don't have to know.

Motivation

I say that I run so that my body will be in good shape. Because it is God's temple, I need to take care of it. I want to be ready and in good physical condition to be able to tackle any sort of service opportunity God should throw at me. But honestly, the reason I'm running today is so that I can eat an ice cream cone tonight and not feel guilty about it. Junk food has pretty much become my reason for running. I'm beginning to see that that is a little hypocritical on my part. If I'm going to say that I run to take care of my temple why would I not also eat to take care of my temple? Gluttony will always be my "deadly sin" and instead of justifying it by working out I should really just learn to turn the other way and live an all around healthy lifestyle. Geeze, this stinks, I hate feeling more convicted after writing something than I did at the beginning. Maybe tonight I'll just go for some post run chocolate milk and a banana instead.

My new mantra

"I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God."- Francis Chan

I talked with a person once who told me that you can know all the answers in your head but still not believe them in your heart. And, if you say them over and over to yourself you actually make that connection from your brain to your heart. So I am taking on this new mantra. I will say it over and over to myself until I actually become thankful in my heart for the unknowns and lack of control because they do make me run to God the safest, most perfect place to be.

He's Answering

I prayed for God to clean me out, to give me a fresh start, and he is answering! The first step was to clearly see the state of my mind and soul. These were all things I've known, but I needed to have God place them in front of me and make me acknowledge their ugliness. This time I couldn't see them out of the corner of my eye and quickly look the other way.

“Yet I want your will to be done, not mine”….Jesus was completely focused on God’s plans…for Himself and others.This submission meant great personal suffering and sacrifice. So many times we “say” we want God’s will to be done, not our own…but then when He doesn’t act the way we want Him to act/use us the way we want to be used/give us the things we want to be given…we rebel, act out, pout, etc. - A Pilgrim"s Potpourri of Perpendings

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek arrogance." -Crazy Love

The Positive Legacies My Parents Passed Down

1. Stability - I lived in the same house from age 1 until I left for college (parents didn't move until I was 22). My parents had the same jobs for over 30 years, and have been married for 34 (I think that's right). I went to the same church every Sunday from age 1 to 16. I am thankful that this is what is "normal" for me.

2. Family ties are important- I have the best Aunts, Uncles and cousins in the world, and their husbands,wives, and kids are turning out to be pretty awesome too. There's about 50 of us now when we're all together I think. My mom is always the one to plan the family reunions and big dinners. I've been so blessed by my relationships with my cousins! I'm glad she has put in the effort to bring us all together over the years. My Dad has also shown this importance as he gives his time and money to his in-laws who are all he has in the way of "family."

3. Real women work hard- I guess I should probably chalk this one up to my Grandma Ruth (from whom I received my middle name). My Grandma's mother passed away when my Grandma was just a kid. She eventually dropped out of school to stay home and care for her baby sister and the rest of her siblings. After taking care of her siblings she became a farmer's wife and raised 10 children of her own. At the age of 81 she continues to help raise her grandchildren that live near by. Her driven "get done what needs to be done, and do it the right way" state of mind was passed down to my mother and is now in my blood as well.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Today's Prayers

Thou that hast given so much to me,

Give one thing more- a grateful heart;

Not thankful when it pleaseth me

As if Thy blessings had spare days;

But such a heart, whose pulse may be

Thy praise.

-George Herbert

Far too often I find myself to be demanding and ungrateful. It disgusts me. I want so much to be broken of my hard hearted, entitled attitude toward God. I am nothing but useless to God and a burden to others. All dejectedness in my life is my fault, I will learn to seek God, not his answers, to obey the things he has placed in front of me today, and to recognize the work he is doing in everyday events.

Lord, make my soul

To mirror Thee,

Thyself alone

To shine in me,

That men may see

Thy love, Thy grace,

Nor note the glass

That shows Thy Face.

-Blanche Mary Kelly