Luke 9:23-25

 "Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"

 This past weekend I was hanging out with some girls who have been my friends for about 8 years now.  They all five have a college degree, two of them are married, three have great paying jobs, and two have really nice brand new SUVs.  I'll just be honest and admit that I was kind of jealous for a few minutes.  As I processed these things I was reminded of Luke 9:23-25.  "What good is it for man to gain the whole world and yet forfeit his very self?"  I'm feeling like I'm literally at the point where the next step I take is going to determine my future forever.  I've got to be fully committed to denying myself everyday and following Jesus or else this ministry thing isn't going to work.  I can't go in half hearted and strive to serve others and get all the bright shiny toys I want at the same time, its an all or nothing commitment (Col 3:23).  I could choose to go a pathway that I know will provide stability, a paycheck and benefits that make me feel secure, or I can follow the road of adventure God is offering that will bring me to life (John 10:10).  

 God "gets me", he knows that I need to experience things to really be sure or completely understand them.  Late Saturday night, as I was driving the back roads to Excelsior Springs I was praying about some pretty big decisions/commitments I'm making in my life right now.  Right as I was trying to gain confirmation that I was making the right choices I came up on a railroad crossing right as the lit up road blocking bar things were lifting.  The red lights glowed brightly against the pitch black sky, then suddenly a car with its bight headlights passed right over the hill between the pillars of light.  At that moment I knew it was God letting my experience his answer.  Now is the time that He is opening the way for me and I've got to go through confidently and boldly, being a light to the world.  It was pretty cool.