John 12:32

"What is extremely important is for the worker's simple relationship with Jesus Christ to be strong and growing. His usefulness depends on that, and that alone." -Oswald Chambers

When I first started this journey of discipleship almost 6 years ago I didn't really know what was supposed to happen. I wasn't looking for answers or feelings or any special thing to happen. All I knew was if I wanted to become a "better Christian" I was supposed to pray and read my Bible, so I did. "What is extremely important is for the worker's simple relationship with Jesus Christ to be strong and growing." Because my main focus was only on God's word and talking with Him things were simple, many things seemed black and white because I just wanted to do what the Bible said. Because my focus was only on God and not the results of reading his word my relationship was strong and growing. Over the years as I've learned what can happen when you pray and what you can argue about in the Bible and when you come to prayer or scripture with these alterior motives the simplicity is lost, the relationship isn't strong because there is no relationship. I've tried to turn Christ into my "jeanie in a bottle," I want answers, I want things fixed, I want I want I want... But if my usefulness depends on [my simple relationship], and that alone I've got to return to the days of just coming to Christ to spend time with him and listen to what he says. I miss Him. I can blame my college, my church, my leaders for getting me to this place but really I am the only one who has control over my relationship with Christ. I'm going back to the simplicity of seeking Christ so he will draw me close again. "And I, if I am lifted up...will draw all people to myself." John 12:32