I was throwing a little tantrum tonight during worship and I pretty much said "God, I'm not doing it!" I've been through too many messed up churches and ministry situations to see going into youth ministry as something fun and exciting. It'd be so much easier to go to a 9-5 job, punch data into a glowing screen for 8 hours and then go home. But then Pastor Michael said something that was just the right punch in the stomach that I needed, "Some of you are resisting God, he's been pulling and pulling and you're resisting him, and I don't even know why you're here. That last part it was got me. He was right. If I was going to say NO to GOD then why the heck was I at church putting on some worship show? He was also right about the fact that God's been pulling me. I can specifically name a way that he's pulled every year since I first read Isaiah 6:8 in 7th grade. The sermon ended tonight with Eph 2:17 "And he came and preached peace to you..." And I knew the only way I was ever going to have peace was to give in to the pulling, stop resisting what's best for me, and just let the flow of the spirit lead. Trying to stand still in the middle of a flowing river is hard and pointless, wherever the river leads I will go.
Oh happiness, there's grace enough for us and the whole human race...-DCB
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