He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy...
Its true, God's love and mercy are endlessly pouring over me. But instead of accepting God's awesome restoring gifts and letting them bend me, change me, I fight it. The human side of me easily falls prey to the lies satan feeds. I try to fight the wind, standing firm while "look at your life, you think you deserve anything from God?!" echos through my stressed out mind. Why do I fight it? Why can't I just accept a gift? When the healing I want so badly is right in front of me why can't I just bend and let God have his perfect way?
I heard a pastor on the radio explaining about metamorphosis this morning. He said that if anybody helps a butterfly out of its cocoon he will never be able to fly. The struggle of breaking out from the old life and into the new strengthens his muscles enough that his wings will be able to support its body weight. I kind of feel like I'm at that breaking out of my cocoon point. Although there are a lot of things I wish my friends could just fix for me I have to fight through some tough stuff on my own, so that afterwards I'll be strong enough to fly.
God never ceases to amaze me, he's so crazy patient and forgiving.
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