Underdog

  Somedays I look back over the past 4 years and think, "wow, I can't believe God's brought me this far!"  Somedays I look at my life and think, "wow, I can't believe I'd still do that after 4 years!"  I'm really kinda disappointed in myself, I realized I've become spiritually weak since High School.  I've chosen to surround myself with Christians pretty much 24/7 and then one simple little choice comes along and I ignore the scripture being whispered in my ear.  Its like lifting weights, after a while you get used to the amount of weight your lifting and all you have to do to maintain that level of strength is to keep lifting the same amount of weight.  But, if your muscles are going to keep growing you've got to add on more weight and challenge yourself to grow.  I've been stuck with the same amount of weight for too long, I can stand up to a certain amount of challenge, but throw on an extra 5 pounder and I wimp out.  I've got to grow stronger.

  One thing God has been trying to teach me is that I'm not going to come to a point of being prepared, or feeling ready before he's going to use me.  This life is a journey of growth all the way up until the day I die, and I'm going to have to rely on Christ and step out and take action even when I don't think I can handle it yet.