Desperation

I don't know why Desperation is so different than a lot of churches I've attended but every time I go there its like God has been waiting for me to show up so he can start workin in my heart. I never know where or when its coming but a verse or line of a song always hits me and God brings to the surface something He wants to deal with in me. Tonight God wanted to get me straightened out on a few things concerning the way I believe my relationship with Him should be and how He really wants it to be.

Over the past 9 years I've been around a lot of Christians who believe that we should constantly be coming to God with a "have mercy on me, a sinner" attitude. And, for as long as I can remember I've had coaches and other people close to me who were constantly telling me what was wrong with me and putting me down. I had a horrible self-esteem and God came over and told me that I was his chosen daughter who was unconditionally loved, perfectly made, and fully forgiven. For the past two years my relationship with Jesus has been one of building up, not tearing down (or a constant reminder that I'm a failure at being a christian everyday) and I recently started feeling guilty about that. Luckily God brought me home just at the right time for me to have a conversation with my friend who reminded me that our burden is meant to be light (Matt 11:30) and we are fully forgiven and washed whiter than snow (Psalm 51:7). I will forever come before God humbly and full of thankfulness for the forgiveness He gives me on a daily basis. I don't live up to the standard Jesus set for me to follow, but I can still come to my God confidently and joyfully accepting the love he pours out on me.